Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

"Samuel Johnson once remarked that most friendships die not because of major violations and problems but because of small slight irritations that slowly destroy closeness"(p.270, Wood)

I think not sweating the small stuff is perhaps one of the most important pieces of advice everyone should consider and master. Wood explains that knowing that perceptions are subjective, you might remind yourself not to focus on aspects of friendships that you dislike or find bothersome (p.270). This should also be considered with coworkers, family members and romantic relationships. I think many times people are selfish and are only concerned with how they feel or what they perceive. It is ok to feel this way but one must always keep in mind the bigger picture and realize we live in a world where there are bigger issues. I believe with a little communication anything can be solved, and we truly must not sweat the small stuff.

When I was in a bad place in my life and blamed my mother for things that went wrong in my life, along with internally beating myself up for not achieving my goals when I had planned and falling through with things, I picked up the book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, by Richard Carlson. This book single handedly helped me get through my depression and take a different outlook on life. I was able to leave my irreparable relationship I was in and not feel guilty about it nor place the blame on anyone or myself. I learned to simply except things for what they were and work to make them better. I learned, that you can keep running from disappointments in your life, but it's not until you truly embrace the past, that you are able to move forward. From that day on I made a vow to myself, that I would not let petty things get in may way. My mother always told me, whatever problem you have, someone out there in the world has the same problem but twice as bad. In other words, no matter what, I'll survive.
The world is a big place and there is a lot more to life out there, and stressing over someone or something small is not worth anyone's precious time.

Dimensions of Romantic Relationships

Under the chapter of Committed Romantic Relationships are Dimensions of Romantic Relationships. It claims that researchers have struggled to define romantic commitment, but the truth is I don't know how anyone can accurately define it, considering humans are all different and unique in their own way. The textbook believes romantic love consists of three dimensions: intimacy, commitment and passion. Although these dimensions are different, the book claims they can overlap and interact throughout your lifetime, which I would agree with as well. Before I read the chapter I assumed romantic relationships, were much like close friendships but also including intimacy and monogamy.

Me and Drew, Santa Monica

• Passion: Is described in the book as intensely positive feelings and fervent desire for another person. I would describe it as the 'crazy about you' type feeling, that you get with a person, to the extent that you could not fathom to think about your life without them. 
• Commitment: Is the intention to remain involved in the relationship. I also view this concept as a very strict agreement, with commitment comes a great deal of respect and trust. 
• Intimacy: Are the feelings of closeness, connection and tenderness. I think most people would assume this simply means sex and/or lust. 

In my personal experience, I would see my relationship as a healthy and steady relationship in which the passion seems to have settled in and we are very comfortable with one another. Our commitment is very strong and we would not have it any other way, we see our selves as life partners and business partners (as soon as my credit score goes up a notch) so we can invest in homes together. The intimacy is always there, the best example of it is a lazy Sunday, when we are simply enjoying breakfast and watching t.v. or reading each others signals in a crowd. We are comfortable and Happy!

I chose this clip narrated by Eckhart Tolle, not only because Professor Mary Fong raves about his book, "The Power of Now," but because the dimensions of romantic relationships and the being of humans are very complex and Tolle seems to get a good grasp on the meaning. No one person is alike, and in order to achieve an understanding of another is really an incredible things. There is a sense of passion and mystery in this video, and requires the brain to really think of how love can overpower a person in negative or positive ways, in which we surprise ourselves or feel a sense of power.

Friendship: Geographic Distance

"A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles"

Geographic distance in friendships commonly puts a strain on the friendship or creates barriers for a smooth relationship. The text explains that most friendships face the challenge of distance, and many do not survive it. In Chapter 10 we learn that in order to maintain a long distance friendship, many factors have to be considered. The first being, how much both parties care to keep in touch, and others being socioeconomic class and sex categories.
Fortunately all of my long distance friendships have survived! I have my three friends from high school, which I have stayed in contact with, and my high school friendships are no where near my current and longest friendships. However when I began ASU back in 2003, I became close with some of my college friends. They have been very close since our dorm days and now as adults. I have 6 close friends that I visit and that visit me a couple times throughout the year, and we all talk on a weekly basis through telephone or skype. I have one in Texas, Arizona, Maui, Two in Chicago and one in Boston. We all scattered after attending ASU together. I still have not graduated but they did, and all are set in their careers as I pursue my education.
As the book explains, gender plays a large role in keeping in touch with friends from afar. Two men and four females that are like brothers and sisters, and I would agree the girls love to call and talk, about everything, and with the guys it more of an update and when we will plan our next trip.Which the text explains, "The focus of men's friendships tends to be activities, which are difficult to share across distance"(p.267, Wood). I find this statement very true, we always make plans to meet every year and go on some crazy adventures!

"A majority of North Americans have at least one long-distance friendship"( According to text, J.Wood)