Loaded Language

Loaded Language is used in our everyday lives, whether it be intentional or unintentional. Some may take is or use it as a generalization or out of spite.
In the book, Loaded Language refers to words that strongly slant perceptions and thus meanings. For instance when referring to other peoples children as little brats, rather than Cindy's daughters.
I view loaded language as more of a lazy form of speech especially in the western culture.  But I also strongly agree and believe most of us use it in a negative way.

For instance, I remember when I was younger, my neighbor refereed to the older woman across the street as an "old hag," because she told his mother that he was trampling all over her grass when the gardeners had just come to plant more flowers for her. I understand why he had resented her and used loaded language, when he simply could have said, "The angry, older woman."

Here is a video of an excellent example of younger girls calling an elder "lady" and also saying they are faster because they are younger. So she turns the tables!! I love it!

Interpersonal Communication: Stereotypes

As we read on Stereotypes we learn many things about how we perceive people or classify them. The word is actually explained as a predictive generalization applied to a person or situation. 

Therefore this explains that based on the category in which we place someone or something, and how that person or thing measures up against the personal construct we apply, we predict what he, she or it will do. (Wood)

I tend to stereotype only the certain things that are told to me over and over. For instance I personally think that stereotypes are just lazy generalizations, and old enough to know that have of them are not true based n my own experiences and willingness to not judge people or situations until I have experienced something first hand. 

However with this said, I tend to stereotype hispanic mechanics. Ever since I was a child I was told, pay the extra money and go to a corporate mechanic, this way if something happens or defaults there is usually a warranty or customer service expectation. I was always told to steer clear of not so reputable mechanic shops or one's where that are fully hispanic operated. 

I remember hearing stories such as, they will leave your vehicle in slightly unnoticeable conditions, or they do not really care as much, or they will switch out your newer car parts for older ones. We I am a weird person when it comes to my car, I can take it to the local Jiffy Lube, and for still some reason have trouble believing they actually changed my oil. My opinion is very clouded when it comes to car maintenance. 

Anyway, my suspicion became a reality when I was over at my grandmothers house explaining to her that I needed an oil change and would be on my way to get one later that afternoon. She said she had taken her car to a little shop down the street and the gentlemen working there were very nice and gave her a discount. So of course I take my car there, all the mechanics were hispanic, and they didn't even have a debit card machine. but I left it anyway. Two hours after I had already had my car, the oil change light goes on and the check engine light. My engine was slightly smoking and my car smelled like burnt gas. 

Oh no, I was mad. I called the place and they refused to refund my money. All they had to say was, "Well if your transmission blows, we do a great job here. Bring your car back!" There was no way in hell I was even bringing my car near that place ever again. To this day I have no clue why both of my check engine lights came one, I had to take it to Midas, to have it checked. It was unorganized and not very reassuring. 

This situation then validated my stereotype. And I try not to think so negatively, but maybe soon, I'll have a reason to assume better in a different way! 

NonVerbal Communication

In Chapter 5, of Interpersonal Communication by Julia T. Wood, We stumble upon Non Verbal Communication. This Term is defined as all aspects of communication other than words. It includes not only gestures and body language but how we utter words, such as tone, pauses and volume. It explains that Scholars estimate that nonverbal behaviors account for 65%to 95% of the total meaning of communication.

From my understanding, nonverbal communication is how a person portrays their body language while expressing how they feel. For example, if a person is frozen, staring you straight in the eyes and speaking through their teeth, we can gather that they are very upset, yet trying to remain in control.
This brings me to my next point. I can apply this term to my own life, and to be specific, a situation of my childhood that taunted me.
I remember playing with my cousins, when I was about 6 years old, at my grandmothers house. Since I was the first boy to be born in the family, I was always playing with the girls since four of my oldest cousins are girls. It did not mean anything to me in tagging along and participating in whatever conquest they were on.
However, one afternoon my uncle was over and saw me carrying a Cabbage Patch Doll. Immediately I knew there was something wrong when he walked towards me with any angry look on his face. He yanked the doll out of my hand, walked over to the drive way, place te doll under a wheel of the car, hopped in the car and ran it over.
I remember the wheels screeching to a stop as he exited the vehicle and began ridiculing me, about how boys were not supposed to be playing with dolls and if he caught me playing with dolls again I would be in big trouble.
I cried and felt tormented. I did not know what to make of the situation and feared playing with any toys while he was around. I not only went through the embarrassment  while he yelled at me, but felt the fear when he didn't say anything at all but charged toward me to take to doll away.

After all is said and done, I am a firm believer that when it comes to children we must let them be and let their creative imaginations run wild. This story is similar to many cases of bullying that happen everywhere in the world especially in schools and in younger age groups. Child to child bullying is not acceptable and adult to child bullying should not be an excuse either.

For Information on Bullying & Suicide, We should all help stop the non verbal and verbal violence.

http://www.wegiveadamn.org/