"A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles"
Geographic distance in friendships commonly puts a strain on the friendship or creates barriers for a smooth relationship. The text explains that most friendships face the challenge of distance, and many do not survive it. In Chapter 10 we learn that in order to maintain a long distance friendship, many factors have to be considered. The first being, how much both parties care to keep in touch, and others being socioeconomic class and sex categories.
Fortunately all of my long distance friendships have survived! I have my three friends from high school, which I have stayed in contact with, and my high school friendships are no where near my current and longest friendships. However when I began ASU back in 2003, I became close with some of my college friends. They have been very close since our dorm days and now as adults. I have 6 close friends that I visit and that visit me a couple times throughout the year, and we all talk on a weekly basis through telephone or skype. I have one in Texas, Arizona, Maui, Two in Chicago and one in Boston. We all scattered after attending ASU together. I still have not graduated but they did, and all are set in their careers as I pursue my education.
As the book explains, gender plays a large role in keeping in touch with friends from afar. Two men and four females that are like brothers and sisters, and I would agree the girls love to call and talk, about everything, and with the guys it more of an update and when we will plan our next trip.Which the text explains, "The focus of men's friendships tends to be activities, which are difficult to share across distance"(p.267, Wood). I find this statement very true, we always make plans to meet every year and go on some crazy adventures!
"A majority of North Americans have at least one long-distance friendship"( According to text, J.Wood)
That little video at the end was too cute! I think that is really neat that you have been able to maintain most, if not all, of your close friendships. I really think technology can help keep long distance relationships strong through email, phone calls, skype, etc. When I was away from my family for a month during Christmas and New Years in South Africa, skype was a special way to feel close to them even though I was on the other side of the world. I haven't had to maintain too many long distance relationships with anyone I am really close to. Have you ever not maintained a long distance relationship? If so, what do you think got in the way?
ReplyDeleteI remember you telling me about South Africa, that must have been very hard, especially considering you were out of the U.S.
ReplyDeleteI have not maintained a couple of long distance relationships, but one that I can always remember was my closest friend in high school, Erin. She was living with her aunt and uncle and they sent her to rehab for a drug problem she had picked up right after we had graduated. At this point, I could not get ahold of anyone, She had changed her cell phone number quite a few times since her life was unstable. Whenever I was home for a school break from ASU she would randomly come over to my house to visit. We never stayed in touch after the last time I left. She ended up getting pregnant from a controlling guy who would not let her speak to me, she had no Facebook and I could never find her. It killed me that I could not help her or get through to her to see her. I feel I could have helped her if I had more resources at the time. I had to put it passed me, although I still think about her and wonder how she is doing. I think the lack of technology and recourses such as a cell phone, internet connection or computer got in the way of what could have been a long distance friendship. Do you have any high school friends now that you feel you will end up having a long distance relationship with? Or somehow stay connected with them through technology in the later future?
To be honest, high school was not a great time for me socially. My values made a lot of my friends from jr. high hesitant to confide in me about the choices they were making in high school and made them think twice before inviting me to parties. I loved the youth group I went to at my church CBC and I am still great friends with the same people now. The friends I made in high school at CBC all volunteer with the jr. high and/or high school ministries currently. I think that is a big reason why we are all still so close. Working together in ministry and being intentional about seeing eachother while going to school and working is a goal for all of us. In the next couple of years, I know that we will all start to get married, move, start our careers and that will be the time to see if these relationships will last. I'm sorry to hear about how things worked out for your friend Erin. It's hard to see the people you care about hit rock bottom and being left with the feeling that you could have helped them. These people need to help themselves and hopefully once they do, we can be there for them when they are ready to be a good friend.
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